Considering writing a book about dating over the age of 50

My friends encourage me to do so.  I’ve kicked that idea around in my head over and over.

If I had to go through this “re-single” phase all over again, would I really want to know how bad can be?  I’m not sure.  Comforting to know you are not alone…………. and yet, because we are over 50, many of our lives have taken on a form that is not real condusive to letting someone new in……… many have become grandparents (not me) ………. many are settled into doing family things, or don’t like to explore new people and experience, wold rather be alone than risk being bored or uncomfortable in a social setting.

And then, with someone new, we each have to fit into their business and personal life if it is ever going to go anywhere.

But, I digress…………..back to the book… I think I am going to call it, “1000 Bad Dates” and include the experiences of others……… or perhaps, as my friends suggest, my bad dating experiences could pretty much cover most of the other folks bad dates.  I’ve had a lot of laughs, some really great dates, met a lot of great people who just were not right for me …………..and met a few who broke my heart.  Heartaches are good in retrospect, it opens the wound and makes us ache for the magic that heals it.

Have a bad date to share? I’m all ears, do tell.  I’ll pour us a glass of wine and we’ll swap war stories.  🙂

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Twitter

I just ran across twitter.com on a blog I read……. I was wide awake due to a thunderstorm and started reading the tweets and next thing I knew two hours had gone by……..just like that. So… I think I’ll explore twitter……. nice to feel like you are not alone in the universe.

catch me there at palegreeneyes

 

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eHarmony is a joke

Save your money and sanity….. eHarmony has been a total bust…….not just for me but for everyone I’ve known who has enrolled.

Oh, sure I wanted to be one of those women dancing on TV, twirling around and around telling everyone how it was love at first click of the keys  but that was not to be.

eHarmony started out matching me with men who had PhD’s and lived 5 states away, then went to men who lived across the country.

It gave me options……such as height which I loved and appreciated.  I asked to be matched with men at least 6′ tall. Without fail, I was matched with men who were anywhere from 5’4″ to 5’7″  90% of the time.

After that I was matched with MARRIED men who said they weren’t married…..they lied and got past eharmony but not past my scrutiny. Sigh.

My friends on eHarmony………we all got the same men over and over….most are not active, they joined on one of eHarmony’s “It’s Ok to Look” weekends. Sigh. Sigh.

I hate to sound petty but………… most of the men on eHarmony don’t know how to ask an open-ended question……..nor do they know how to answer a question with a sentence. Triple Sigh. 

I swear, if I ever find “the one” I will cherish him all the days of my life! 

Promise.

Please God, send him now, my patience is wearing thin.

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The Woman Within….. patiently waiting

I was married once, for 21 years….. divorced now for several years.

When I was newly divorced, I decided to give myself the gift of a year…… time to let my life settle into this new phase, to let my sons settle into it without worrying their mother would take up with another man and they’d be left in the shadows. They were teenagers but they still needed their mother. They needed time to adjust to our new life situation, and time to  adjust to life without their dad living under the same roof.

Sadly,  Daddio did not keep his promises…… I’ll take you out for burgers every Wednesday, I’ll take you to breakfast on Sunday, you can come to my place and we’ll make popcorn and watch movies.

Daddio took one of them for burgers………once.  No Sunday morning breakfasts, no popcorn and movies, no birthday cards, gifts or phone calls, no Christmas card, gift, or phone call.   That was a hard year for them….. Five years later, it is still hard for the to understand how their dad has nothing to do with them.

I don’t understand it either.  They are nice young men, smart, funny, kind…….really kind. (They got that from me, ahem.

So…..  I waited the year to date.

I didn’t just wait, I read. I read book after book. Self-help books, spiritual books,  divorce adjustment books,  etc. 

I journaled.  I wanted to find what I needed in a partner. I wanted to do it right the next time. A year is a small price to pay if it sets you on the right path.  It gave me a clear picture of what I need……what my heart desires and my soul needs.

And so, I was ready to date………or so I thought.  It soon became evident that the world had changed a lot since I was last single….. and this time, the dating world involves many more men who have their own baggage, their own life experiences, children, extended family, etc. 

I was not prepared for the years ahead….. my eyes were about to be opened.

And so, my friend Tim tells me…….. ” I know you’d like to find a great guy…….perhaps all this time before he appears in the universe’s way of saying it is not telling you, NO, you can’t have him……..it’s saying you haven’t found him because you need to wait longer……….wait for his life circumstances to shake out……..before he appears.”

Ahem.

Whatever. I am patiently waiting……..just as the universe requested, but growing more weary by the day.

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